how to calm anxiousness

1. Understand your anxiety

The first step in learning how to calm your anxiousness is by understanding what triggers it. Feeling anxious is a thinking pattern we experience when our mind fixates on uncertainty, threat, and negativity. While worrying is completely normal, it is the hypothetical worries (‘what if’ thoughts) that we focus excessively on that’s unhelpful. It’s worth noting that you cannot stop the occurrence of hypothetical worries, but you can control your response to them.

One of the ways to understand your emotions is through expressive writing, where you allocate a fixed amount of time each day to write out how you are feeling. By expressing your emotions onto paper, you will be able to identify a pattern and know what to take action on. Getting things out of your head can clear your mind and make it simpler to work through your concerns one by one.

2. Challenge your anxious thoughts

We can influence the process of how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors constantly affect each other and develop negative patterns. The best way to deal with these unaccommodating thoughts is to recognize them, challenge them, and see if you can replace them. It is often referred to as ‘Catch It’, ‘Check It’ and ‘Change It’ approach. Psychologist Mark Taylor mentions this in his blog as the 3 Cs of Cognitive Therapy.

• Catch – the thought which originated before the emotion.
• Check – reflect on how useful the thought is or if there is evidence for it.
• Change – change the thought to a positive or a more accurate one.

With practice, this can help us to look at perceived problems from a different viewpoint. For instance, you might be worried about an important task which you have to do at work and are convinced it will go wrong and you will be called a failure. Rather than instantly accepting this and feeling even worse, take a minute to Catch It, Check It, and Change It by questioning yourself whether there is sufficient proof or any other explanation for you to be feeling that way. Also, question yourself what advice would you give to a friend in a similar situation. Lastly, see if you can change the negative thought to a positive one, such as ‘I’m prepared’ or ‘I have a lot of work to do but will try to do my best’. There are times when you will be able to change your thought to a positive one and not so at other times. It’s about training to think flexibly and being more in control; It’s about breaking the cycle.

3. Designate a focused time

Worrying can leave you feeling anxious, which is why making time for your worries is crucial. When you feel like your worries are taking over your day, you can manage this by scheduling yourself some worry time. For instance, when worry arises during the day, think that you will set this aside for your designated worry time. What this does is shifts your focus back to the present rather than on your worry. During the designated time, a structured technique, called the Worry Tree, can be effectively used to focus on solutions rather than escalating your negative thoughts.

4. Induce the relaxation response

The term “Relaxation Response” was coined by Dr. Herbert Benson in 1975. In his book, The Relaxation Response, Dr. Benson describes many benefits of relaxation, explaining that consistent practice can be an effective treatment for anxiety.

Outlined below are some of the most effective strategies for inducing the relaxation response in your body. You can experience deep relaxation and inner peace by choosing one of the following and practicing it once or twice a day. Morning would be considered the best time to do this, allocating about 15 to 30 minutes of your time.

• Meditation

• Breathing exercises

Breathing exercises are highly suggested as it can work to calm the body at any time and place. Different types of breathing exercises can be practiced, so it would be a great idea to try a few. Diaphragmatic, or belly breathing, is the most beneficial as it encourages full oxygen exchange, leaving you feeling completely relaxed.

• Progressive muscle relaxation

A state of physical relaxation is achieved by tensing and relaxing different groups of muscles in your body. Initially, this anxiety-reduction technique would require a little time and practice, but once mastered, you will be able to relax your body within minutes.

• Yoga

Yoga utilizes breath and movement to relax and alleviate the mind and invite more ease into the body. If you are new to yoga, it is recommended to begin under the guidance of a certified instructor, but there are also simple, gentle poses that can be practiced at home.

5. Shift your focus

Distraction activities can be an effective method to calm your anxiousness as it redirects your mind off your current emotions. These activities will help you feel happier, energized, and motivated. However, the activity must be attention absorbing to successfully reduce anxiety.

Mentioned below are a few tactics to distract yourself. Negative thoughts are not the easiest to deal with, but anything positive that you can do to break the vicious cycle will make a lot of difference.

• Participating in a creative pursuit

You may find yourself feeling relaxed when you give your creative side a chance to express itself. Some activities may include making art or crafts.

• Use entertainment

Watching undemanding TV programs, something that doesn’t require much effort but enough to distract you. Or you could rediscover old music you loved when you were a teen. Listening to music may help you feel calmer. Read something that interests you or a magazine that you enjoy. Playing video games can be excellent for distraction as well.

• Puzzles

Puzzles can be considered a great way to distract your negative thoughts with simple problem-solving. You can start with easy crosswords or jigsaw. It’s a good idea not to set time limits, however, take breaks in between if it becomes too frustrating.

• Pampering

Your body needs to be looked after as it is physically drained just like your mind. As such, trivial pampering tasks like painting your nails, taking a long relaxing bath, or treating yourself to a neck massage helps divert the mind as well as rejuvenate the body and calm anxiousness.